Several girls are dumped like vegetable crops in Monday’s finale of Farmer Wants A Wife as the show’s three ranchers choose the wives they will now wear their RM Williams boots with forever.
It’s been weeks since we’ve seen how the city girls have been put to the test. They have learned about life on the land and been silently judged by the local CWA women.
Now is the time to find out who can live theirs McLeod’s Daughters fantasy and who will be made to hitchhike again in the great smoke of a locomotive.
SUMMARY BY JAMES WEIR:Read all the summaries here
Before the farmers make their final decisions, they pack their Hiluxes to visit the girls’ home villages and meet their families. Reality TV producers never seem to consult weather apps when planning these kinds of adventures, so visits are affected by torrential weather. That means we love all the parents who aggressively shake hands with farmers while declaring, “You’ve brought the weather with you!”
Home visits are just as interesting as having a forced conversation with other people’s parents. We’d rather spend 20 minutes watching Leish pose outside a coffee shop in a hooded jacket, pretending she doesn’t know she’s being filmed.
In Melbourne, Farmer Will meets Maddie’s father, who insists on wearing a party shirt and refuses to know the basic details of the TV show his daughter is on.
“I hope you make the right decision, Maddie,” he growls.
Maddie looks around uncomfortably. “I don’t have a decision to make,” he says, noting that it’s the farmers who choose the girl they want to be with.
Dad shrugs. “Oh.”
We share your enthusiasm.
It’s a useful follow-up to Will’s decision.
“I came here looking for something and I think I found it with someone else,” he tells Maddie, who immediately breaks down.
“You’re an amazing person, Maddie. You really are.”
He’s trying to comfort her, but the worst only makes it worse and she cries more. It’s heartbreaking. But Maddie, on the plus side, at least you don’t have to check the sheep for pink eye anymore.
Then it’s Farmer Harry’s turn. He summons Tess to hear his fate and we assume they will leave her because she doesn’t want to move from the Gold Coast.
Harry gives a meandering speech that ranges from positive memories to negative concerns about their compatibility—the kind of speech producers always write for these kinds of dating show endings to build false suspense.
He then decides to stay with her. “I love you and I want to be with you,” he smiles.
They drink on a park bench and almost lose track of time until a producer pulls Harry aside and reminds him that he still has to pour Bronte.
“Unfortunately, Bronte, I’m sorry, but I’ve fallen in love with someone else,” she tells him bluntly. At first, her fed-up facial expression makes it look like she’s about to hook him. We happily sit in our chairs. Then she goes and ruins the moment by being absolutely lovely.
“Tess is very lucky. I understand why you love her,” he says. “It’s not what I want to hear, but it’s okay.”
Boo! Lock your tractor!
Then it’s time for Farmer Ben to choose between Leish and Kiani. It could go either way. To build tension, the producers keep cutting between Ben’s speeches to the girls. We love it when reality TV producers try to be cinematic.
“I’m always thinking about whether a long-distance relationship will work and whether it’s too risky,” Ben tells Leish, who doesn’t want to leave Brisbane to be on the farm.
The footage then cuts to Kiani, who just doesn’t love the moment.
“There’s a lot of potential in what we have,” Ben tells her. “It’s a testament to how strong our connection is. There are so many things I have to weigh in this decision: where I want to be and what I want my future to be. And when I do, there’s a woman I see in my side. From the beginning, I said I would find my heart and my heart is not with you.
Ouch. It’s a bit forceful, but the speech was getting long and the producers needed him to get to the point, so he did.
Ben starts to cry. Kiani smiles and hugs him.
“I’m so crazy happy for you,” she says.
The spill is heartbreaking to watch. It’s almost as if that midnight pass between them in Ben’s rumpus room meant nothing.
We then cut to Leish who, at this point, thinks she’s the one about to be dumped.
Ben tries to torture her a little.
“I have an incredible connection with Kiani,” he says, leaving a long pause to make Leish more nervous. “… But I have the most perfect connection with you. Leish, I’ve fallen madly in love with you.
And so, our city girls become farms. There is so much love blooming around us that we almost forget that a lot of hearts were crushed like sugar cane.
Unlike The Baccalaureate i Married at first sight, all the contestants dumped on this show are so stylish. We wish one of them would go rogue and slash a tractor tire.
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