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10 min I suppose it makes sense for Morocco to try to get in behind Croatia, because that’s the best way to stop them getting the ball into midfield – their biggest weapon and exactly what they’re trying to do.
9 min Morocco are pressing Croatia high, that’s interesting and should speed up the game, but Ziyech leaves one to Gvardiol who, by the way, is wearing a mask.
7 min “I’d like to mention a fun addition to the Yellow Car Punch game,” emails Kieran McHugh. “That is, Green Car Hair Skruffle. Especially good if the younger participants are too young to scrunch someone else’s hair. You also seem to have forgotten to mention the vital ‘No Returns’ rule to avoid anarchy”.
I wonder what Bakunin and Proudhon would make of it. But in our house only “Do Not Return” is assumed because the rule is that the person who sees the car first administers the punishment, not who sees it at any time. Although my daughter has started to hit me in advance, when she knows it’s there. going up.
7 min Morocco make a business of getting the corner, although it’s deflected to Gvardiol on the edge, but they get there in the end.
Updated at 10.09 GMT
5 min A poor throw from Morocco is intercepted by Kovacic, who advances towards Kramaric just inside the box, but Saiss is about to put the ball back before sharing some feelings with his team-mates.
4 min Morocco get going, Hakimi and Ounahi move down the right but Ounahi finds himself in trouble halfway through and Croatia start to hit him once again.
3 min Modric sends Vlasic down the right, but his cross is deflected and Bono collects easily and without pressure.
2 min Walid Regragui, the Moroccan coach, is already on the touchline enduring the stress. I have no idea how people in his position maintain any semblance of calm.
1 min We agree that Croatia have the best teams, right? This one has a sort of apron on the front, maybe they take lobster later, so it’s not as good as the full check, but it’s still absolutely nails.
1 min running!
“I grew up in Devon,” says Sam Ryan, “but I used to go to London a lot. Three hours by car each way. We played a game to guess the number of roundabouts on the A303 on the journey, and it was my job to write them down – every time it happened. My dad won. I think the total was 17. Ah…..childhood. What memories!”
Arf. When we used to go to Manchester to visit my grandmother, my parents liked to shout “mezuzah” when we passed through the Jewish area where she lived, a mezuzah was a thing mounted on the doorpost that demarcated a Jewish house. It was a real thrill, I can tell you.
Morocco’s national anthem, by the way, is very understated, and the Moroccans in the crowd give it a big thumbs up.
Updated at 09.58 GMT
Anthem time, flags in the foreground and hands in hearts. Politics and football don’t mix, apparently.
Updated at 09.56 GMT
And here they come!
Equipment: tunneled.
Moving from advanced to current strategy games, Croatia’s midfield is very suitable. I can’t lie, I spent some time wondering what Mateo Kovacic did aside from being traded for Ross Barkley, but he’s become a very nice ball carrier and a practical physical presence. I wonder, though, if Morocco can beat them.
Eyes:
“Daniel, please don’t quote my name (I prefer anonymity),” says someone we’ll refer to as Mr X. “But the ultimate Yellow Car player is Arthur Shappey (John Finnemore’s alter ego in the ‘excellent Cabin Pressure).
I’m afraid without the dead arm, I can’t get on board. I think it’s like doing paintball that if it didn’t hurt it wouldn’t be fun.
Something I just learned from Wikipedia: Trent’s maternal grandmother had a relationship with Alex Ferguson, before immigrating to New York. Meanwhile, Philip Malcolm points out that he has three first names, which makes me think of him as a Brazilian, Trentão.
“As a kid growing up in the Midlands,” says Richard O’Hagan, “we played a version of Yellow Car/Spotto on family car journeys. It was called ‘My Bridge’ and involved trying to be the first to shout that phrase every time that we see a bridge. It was only a few years later that I realized that my parents always scored more bridges because they were sitting in the front and the four of us kids were stuck in the back with a very limited view of the road.”
Four in the back, that’s not something you see often. A nanny used to pick me up from school, and her Vauxhall Chevette had one in the front and one on the front foot, five in the back, one in each footwell and one perched on that center bump.
“I wish they’d show the club teams of the players involved next to their names,” muses Kevin in Chicago, “so we have a reasonable idea of what level they’re at. That’s all.”
You’ve come to the right place!
Harry Kane, by the way, has an ankle situation. If he does not arrive in the United States on Friday, Gareth Southgate will presumably have to choose between Callum Wilson, a decent centre-forward, or Marcus Rashford, a better player with more experience at the top level. I think I would lean towards Wilson trying to keep the same system and keep the ball as well as possible. But I see both sides.
Elite athletes are amazing. We’re watching VT of “Trent”, which will sound like a tired gag, but I’m really trying to avoid writing “Alexander-Arnold” – and he’s been asked how he thinks he’s defended this season. Surprisingly, he said that people talk about the times when you do your job poorly, not when you do your job well; I might try this at home next time I break something. But that’s the kind of self-belief you need to be as brilliant as he is, and I can’t believe England picking him will ever be debated. I wouldn’t start him, but if I needed a goal, and especially if I had Harry Kane, he’d be one of my first changes every time.
“In Australia,” he emails Penelope Cottier, “when there’s a yellow car visible, the first to yell ‘Spotto’ wins. That’s the only rule of the game. It’s called Spotto, surprisingly.”
So are we saying there is no physical element? Total mental disintegration, I guess.
“This hitting someone at the sight of a yellow car has been around for a few years,” says Tim Skern. “Ten years ago, my daughters took me to the potty by hitting each other in the back of the car every time they saw a yellow one. I never quite understood the fun.”
Causing minor pain to the people I love is a central part of my childhood life. Same as messing with your friends, trashing them with things they did 37 years ago, that kind of thing. For what it’s worth, I’ve written about this sort of thing here.
ITV is now showing us a collection of the best volleys from the World Cup. Conspicuous by its absence, though, was this belt, and check out the tag for more favorites.
Nigel de Jong has just suggested that Cristiano Ronaldo go to Sporting, become majority owner, appoint himself player-coach and then become president when he is done playing. That would be so fashionable that it almost implores us not to waste our time struggling with blind thoughts of despair, but I’m not sure it’s entirely likely.
Football is the best, partly Infinity:
Time it took ITV to pivot their England: seven minutes.
In a similar vein: a game I learned from my nine-year-old daughter, common in 1920s London (and presumably elsewhere): Yellow Car. It goes like this: you see a yellow car, you shout “yellow car” and we give a dead arm to whoever you are.
Allow me to share a massive déjà vu I just enjoyed: Joe Cole pronouncing “world” as “weld”, an extremely common gear in 1980s London. Also like this: “embarrassed” pronounced as “embarrassed”.
Teams!
Morocco (4-2-3-1): Bounou; Hakimi, Aguerd, Saïss, Mazraoui; Amrabat, Ounahi; Amallah, Boufal, Ziyech; In Nesyri. Substitutions: Hamdallah, Zaroury, Sabiri, El Kajoui, Chair, Jabrane, Aboukhlal, Ezzalzouli, El Yamiq, Dari, Cheddira, Tagnaouti, El Khaannouss, Benoun, Attiat Allah.
Croatia (4-3-3): Livakovic; Juranovic, Lovren, Gvadiol, Sosa; Brozovic, Modric, Kovacic; Vladic, Kramaric, Perisic. Substitutions: Grbic, Ivusic, Stanisic, Barisic, Erlic, Majer, Livaja, Pasalic, Petkovic, Budimir, Orsic, Vida, Sutalo, Sucic, Jakic.
Referee: Fernando Andrés Rapallini (Argentina)
preamble
And it doesn’t stop! As if yesterday’s shenanigans weren’t enough, here begins another quadruple game day, a tasty Tetris of World Cup FootballTM for our delectation. Bing-bing whee sliiiide.
At Mexico 86, Morocco became the first African nation to advance from the group stage, beaten by a Lothar Matthäus free-kick in the round of 16. And while only three items have qualified since then, they couldn’t replicate that success in each. On occasion, they have some serious players this time around, so they’ll be sure to do something here.
The star of Moroccan football is the electric Achraf Hakimi, a one-man right-back. But on the left, Bayern’s Noussair Mazraoui is also excellent while, in between, there are former Wolves Roman Saïss and West Ham’s Nayef Aguerd; it’s a pretty solid defense. In front of them can be found Sofyan Amrabat of Fiorentina and Hakim Ziyech of Chelsea, whose guile is so decisive that, when faced with Vahid Halilhodzic, it was the coach who made way. I wonder if they’ll struggle for goals (Youssef En-Nesyri, their likely center forward, isn’t exactly prolific), but he can play like that, if the attacking midfielders can keep him out, his team is in business.
Croatia, meanwhile, are a smaller version of the German Turniermannschaft – team of the tournament – a constant presence in the latter stages of the proceedings. And looking at his current side, the potential for more success is there. Josip Juranovic –…